Suffering from post-election stress? Suddenly realized that the majority of the population are racist, sexist, ignorant — and now there’s a misogynistic reality show star as a president? It’s time to get the hell out of dodge.
If you’ve been looking for an excuse to make a change in your life, or telling anyone who’ll listen that if Trump wins, you’ll move; then why not keep your word? Check out the best places to move for the next four years (that don’t include Canada).
With paradisiacal beaches, vibrant green jungle and a warm and welcoming people whose catchphrase is “pura vida” (pure life). Costa Rica is not only a good place to wait out the next four years; it’s the perfect country to practice your surfing. Be at one with nature and work on your tan in its year-round tropical heat.
Of course, head to any of the main beach towns, like Tamarindo or Quepos and you probably won’t learn much Spanish. Costa Rica’s already been discovered by a sizable gringo population, as well as some savvy European backpackers. But if you’re not linguistically inclined, that might make this little slice of heaven even more appealing.
Rent a huge condo with a sea view, or think about buying a place if you’ve got around a hundred-grand saved up. It’s not dirt cheap, but compared to your tiny New York apartment?
Plus, quality of life is something you can’t put a price on and waking up every day to the sound of the ocean sounds pretty good right about now. You can even get Hershey’s and most American products in the stores.
Better yet? Costa Rica is a neutral country with no army. Regularly referred to as the “Switzerland of Central America,” it’s a haven in a hotbed of narcotic crime and political corruption. As you lay back on your surf board watching the sun melt over the Pacific, you won’t care about who’s running the United States.
How will you survive here money-wise? Do as the majority of foreigners and teach English or find work online. Organize with your company to work from home. You’re in almost the same time zone. You might have to cancel the occasional meeting as your Internet connection goes to sh** because of a monkey on the line, or a tropical rain storm, but pura vida, right?
If you crave the action of a big city, or the idea of being in a steamy country full of bugs doesn’t appeal, then you could think about Argentina. Buenos Aires is a throbbing metropolis with a nightlife that never ends. The best steak in the world, fine wine and a colorful collection of people, extremely passionate about everything. From tango to politics (their own), or football (don’t say “soccer”) – you can engage in a lively debate at every turn.
Opt for an old neighborhood like San Telmo, if you’re interested in backstreet cafes, antiques, tango and tradition. Or move to Palermo or Las Cañitas (kind of like Greenwich Village) for a leafy neighborhood packed with restaurants, street markets and shops.
Argentina is not without its problems. With a 40% inflation rate and widespread distrust of the banking system; avoid seeking work in the local economy. You could. But saving your money in pesos would be about as useful to you as a wedge of toilet paper by the end of Trump’s turn. Working for a fraction of your US salary can be a little demotivating as well.
Your safest best is to work for an American startup (it’s bursting with them here) or work for US companies online and get paid in dollars.
The best thing about Argentina? There’s no tax on champagne, so you can sip on Moet and Mumm late into the night. They also have polo matches, ridiculously attractive people and you don’t need a visa to come here. You will have to cross the border into neighboring Uruguay every three months, or simply fly back home to renew your 90 days. But that just gives you an excuse to see more of the continent or catch up with your family ay home.
If you’re not feeling the Latin vibe or don’t know what you’d do for work while practicing your surf in Costa Rica or tango skills in Buenos Aires; then why not go further afield?
The economy in Europe is in tatters. The Brits have become as nationalistic and hostile to foreigners as the Americans, and the rest of Europe is a mess. Plus, there’s every chance of being blowing up there and become another casualty in the war on terror. So, where could be better than the middle east?
Dubai has come a long way in the last few years. Known as the playground of the rich kids, you can make a lot of money in Dubai. The only problem is that you can also spend a lot of money in Dubai. The cost of living is expensive here and you often have to pay your rent for a full year upfront, so you’ll need some savings stashed away if you’re thinking about it.
What would you do for work? Pretty much anything is up for grabs in Dubai, as 90% of this UAE city is made up of expat immigrants (YAY!). The shortage of talent just about everywhere you turn makes skilled English people highly desirable. Apply for a job with an agency online, or just wing it and find work when you get there.
The cons? It’s pretty darn hot there year-round, but unbearable in the summer, so you’ll want to plan to escape to the mountains of Oman, or the beaches of Sri Lanka when you can. You’ll also need to have some respect for the local culture and dress appropriately in certain areas of the city.
The pros? Living in Dubai lets you live like a celebrity. Wine and dine in the finest of restaurants with 50-feet fountains shooting into the sky outside. Go up the tallest building in the world and check out the most luxurious 7-star hotel. Get a coffee in the lobby and people watch. There are even vending machines that sell gold bars in some shopping malls here.
Assuming that you’ve completely lost it and are looking for a place to literally wait out the next four years, then why not go to find yourself in India? Head to an ashram or Buddhist retreat a la Eat Pray Love, learn about the religion and clear your head. Or simply get a wake-up call in the the poverty-stricken areas where the people have never even heard of Donald Trump.
Mark Twain described India as “the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grandmother of tradition.” So, if you want a truly fascinating cultural journey then this is definitely the place for you.
If you’re a techie, go and hone your programming skills in one of the many gigantic IT corporations in Pune or Bangalore. Don’t expect to get paid very well, but if you’re happy living on a local salary and breathing in a different culture, this exotic destination could be for you.
Internet connections are pretty good country-wide now, so if you want to work online while traveling, this is definitely possible. Mai Tai over-looking Taj Mahal anyone?
You may not be thrilled at the events of last week, and maybe you’re still wondering what to tell your grandchildren one day. It might take a while to recover fully from post-election stress, but it will look better from further way. Atop a temple in a lofty jungle, a wave in tropical waters, or champagne cocktail in rooftop bar. Anywhere but here.