Whether you jumped on the baby wagon late in life or you’re starting this business at an early age, there’s something you need to know about having a baby. Your life is going to change. Not just your life, but the relationships in it. The way you see the rest of the world shifts when you
become a Mom, and so does the way that others see you. Here’s at least five relationships that will change after you have a baby:
1. Your Parents
For the first time in your life it’s your turn to decide what’s best. Not your Mom, not your Dad; you. You’re responsible for bringing up your own child and messing them up in all the crazy ways you see fit. So be prepared for your relationship with your parents to transition as they take a back seat.
It’s like role reversal. As your maternal instincts kick in and you find your folks studying you for tips on how to change a diaper, or the best way to hold their Grandson to stop him crying, suddenly without realizing it, you’re the one ruling the roost.
2. Your Significant Other
You’ve probably heard the depressing statistics about how many marriages or relationships end after having children. That’s because it’s hard work. It’s challenging enough for couples who don’t have kids to spend quality time together without adding a needy new born baby who turns your house (and hormones) upside down to the equation.
So yes, your relationship will be pushed and tested to its limits.You’ll probably flit between feelings of intense love for your partner as they tenderly hold your child, to despising them with every fiber of your body as they sleep through the night while you’re up for the fourth time. Expect things to be chaotic at the beginning and try counting to ten before you fire back your venomous response to a moronic (but possibly innocent) comment.
3. Your Friends
Wanna find out who your real friends are? Don’t worry, you will. There’s nothing like having a baby for sorting out the lifelong friendships from the circumstantial.You know your BFF who made your wedding bouquet and gossiped into the night with you on WhatsApp? You might find she does a vanishing act when you’re no longer available for late night cocktails.
Leaking breasts and dirty diapers just aren’t everybody’s scene. You can insist all you want to that you had a baby and not a lobotomy, but that won’t change everyone’s desire to hang out with you. It doesn’t necessarily help if your friends have kids either. In fact, sometimes it’s worse. There are only so many “helpful suggestions” from a smug parent friend that a hormonal first-time-Mom can take before one of them lands like a harpoon to sink your cozy friendship.
4. Your Boss
American women officially have worst deal on the planet for paid maternity leave, so if you’ve been forced into going back to work before you feel ready, don’t expect your boss to be supportive of pumping, emotional meltdowns or emergency leaves of absence.
This is a relationship best handled with care and sometimes female bosses are the worst. But if you want to prove that you can still climb the ladder of success and be a Mom at the same time, and you’ve got an unsympathetic boss, you’ll have to save your tears (and other bodily fluids) for the restroom and keep your baby talk to an absolute minimum.
5. The Girl in the Mirror
Remember her? The person you once cared most about? The one who always went to the gym, made time to see her friends, splurged out on an expensive outfit when she was feeling down? Yeah, her. She’s gone. And been replaced by this one with bags under her eyes and scraggly hair. Welcome to a new world where you aren’t the first in line anymore. There’s a new star on the pitch.
If that sounds horrendous to you right now, once your little one arrives, you’ll probably secretly enjoy obsessing over and spending all your energy on someone else 24/7. Do yourself (and the rest of humanity) a favor though. Once the first few crazy months have passed and you can finally sleep with both eyes closed, get yourself a haircut, facial, foot massage, or new pair of leggings. Better yet. Burn the leggings. It’s time to remind yourself that you matter too.